Getting Old and Getting Out
In New York City
byHerb Bardavid
This is Dick
I was standing in line to order an iced coffee on a 90-degree day when Dick pulled up behind me, sitting on his scooter. I turned around and the first thing I noticed was a desktop pen holder with several pens in it. I commented that it looked as if he was ready to do a lot of writing. He responded that he is a writer and has already written five books. I knew he would be an interesting person to interview. So, I asked him if he wouldn't mind talking for a bit and he said he would love to. He needed to find a spot for his scooter as it was a crowded coffee shop. The tables and chairs were clustered together. I realized that Dick was confronted with a major obstacle with which people with assistive devices deal daily. I saw two tables outside and despite the heat, suggested we sit there.
Dick is 92. Despite the need for a scooter, he did not appear to be 92. He was clear and sharp. Born in Detroit, he moved to New York City when he studied for the ministry. He is a Unitarian Minister and had been actively involved in the Civil Rights Movement since the 1960's. He marched with Dr. Martin Luther King in Selma.
He is very proud that he had married over eight thousand people and had done many same-sex marriages long before it was legal. He himself had been married twice, but both his wives have passed away. He had a girlfriend with whom he lived for several years, but she too passed away.
He has three children by his first marriage and adopted his second wife's two children He said proudly that he officiated at his daughter's same-sex wedding as he showed me her photo. He has many grandchildren that visit often and keep in touch.
Dick still teaches and works several days a week. He writes, which keeps his mind active and sharp. One of his most significant difficulties getting out every day is winter time with the cold and the snow. So, from November through March, he is going to live with one of his children in Georgia. Dick said he loves getting out and meeting new people as he did with me. It helps fight the loneliness of living alone at the age of 92. He remembers being in his 70s and thinking 90 is so far away and so old. The time went by too quickly, but there is still a lot of living that he still wants to do.
